A few past-midnight-thoughts:)

Good evening!

I don’t know where any of you are when you read this, but if it’s somewhere where it’s cold and/or rainy, I feel with you! I would always say that I like rain, I even used to go out and dance until I was soaked. But this longest-coldest-wettest winter in many years has changed my opinion quite a lot. I still think rain and raindrops and their sound are something beautiful; theoretically. Practically, I can’t see any of it anymore! I want SUMMER – long, bright days and sun and sleeveless tops and tanned skin and complaining that it is too hot…

Another thing I miss terribly is horseriding. I haven’t been up at the stables since September. I miss brushing a horse while talking to it, cleaning it’s hooves and putting saddle and bridles on. This procedure is one thing I like about the sport: you alone are responsible for your horse, before and afteer riding. When I was smaller it made me feel so proud that I knew every move precisely and that I could do all this by myself.  Then, I always liked the effort combined with riding, which is not so much physical but more about trying to cooperate with your horse, to make it follow your lead, without forcing it to. Because that’s when you feel like you can fly. I truly miss the feel of a cantering body under me and the reins in my hands that tell me it is in my hand to control the speed!

Also long missed is my motivation. Along with it, everything else shrinked: my inspiration to write, or draw or do anything ever so little creative; me energy, I always say I nned to be more out, move and do some sports, but I feel so tired from doing NOTHING all day; my curiosity, I still haven’t so much as opened the page-a-day Spanisg calendar, though I really love languages and truly want to learn as many as I can… Once I passed thesse frickin exams, some things will have to change radically!

...I didn't have to wait for words to come!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lt6PVVr4B04 (a little soundtrack never hurts ;))

 

So much for the things I miss. Before I leave you now, let me add anotheer word to the ‘words’- category:

ZENITH. I am not quite sure how it is pronounced in english, but the sound of it in both, german and greek is just gorgeous, makes me kind of shiver… The word limit sounds really nice too, but not as impressive.

=^.^= Koneko.

What caught my eye today: steam swirling in the car’s headlights. It took me a while to realize that it was actually rain evaporating from the warm asphalt. Yeah, it was warm this morning, can you believe it?! Now it’s raining again but obviously the roads saved a lot of heat…

Advertisements

There is a little word I wanted to introduce to you, for no particular reason, just because I like it.  

PATHETIC.

Pathetic, not only does it sound very nice in my ears, I also find it extremely useful. I use it all the time, pathetic is the perfect thing to describe many things: behaviour, people, expressions, situations, sometimes even myself…

And that was actually all for today, I just thought I should make use of the word category at last:P You see, it’s pathetic to create a category and then never use it!

=^.^= Koneko.

What caught my eye today: the steam coming out under the lid of the pot with the tomato sauce I was cooking. It looked kind of black and I worried that the food might be burning and/or the house could catch fire any instant.

Static

 

click on picture - there is a spundtrack to this post

Empty. My head feels so emtpy.

Just like the straight A’s I brought home today. They are fake.

‘I’m so proud of you” she says. “You are working hard, I am so proud of how you fight”

STOP! I want to scream at her. Shake her. Please stop!

I don’t deserve it. Nothing of it all. Not her pride. Nor the excellent grades.

Or do I? Can I believe the voices, saying all the efforts, the waking ups at 5.30 am, are worth something! And maybe they are right.

Ijust don’t feel like it. I feel empty. And tired. What from?

4 months. 4 Questions. I can’t wait. Can’t wait to be free. 

=^.^= Koneko

What caught my eye today: The eyebrows of one of my teachers. They are unbelievably long and wild and over the blue eyes they make him look like a beast:P