What can happen in a year

I don’t know about Greek TV, but the German channels are filled with reviews of the year 2011; the most emotional TV-moments, the most dramatic happenings, the 50 most spectacular pictures and so on. And since in 2011 happened a lot not only in the whole world, but in my insignificant little existence as well, I thought a review would be a nice thing to do, especially as I’m so much into memories and changes these days (sorry for boring you with that all the time, by the way).

Although the year was over in what felt like 3 months to me, looking back I find that in the actual 12 months it lasted, there happened a lot of things that seem so far away, it’s impossible to imagine they lay back only a few months!

January: I don’t remember anything special, except maybe my start into the New Year, on my best friend’s floor heating, eating self made pizza and watching Disney-classics (which are the best anyway!!!). At about 5am I decided to eat special X-mas  M&Ms and only then discovered that the special about them was that there were only red and green ones. Ah, and there were 2 pretty awesome hip hop seminars, that gave me a whole new perspective on dancing (I terribly regret stopping, as much as I regret eating that whole bag of biscuits this afternoon).

February: a month full of events and fun. I picked up writing again, though still I haven’t finished any of the works I began since then – really bad habit of mine. Carnival was a lot of fun, I went to buy masks with my best friend (I adore those plain masks that cover only the eyes, with simple patterns and bright colors). Then he straightened my hair and when we went out it was raining and they got ruined right away! Also a friend of mine had her birthday party, where I met a few great people (some of them I realized only much later how great they are and others that they really are not).

I just realized that 12 months really are long – and boring to read! So from here on I’ll make it short. There were some great beach parties – and house parties, so parties in general, where i had a lot of fun. I went to Germany over August and lived there all on my own, in the place where I’ll go to study next year. That was an unforgettable time, I enjoyed almost every second of it, even banal things like going shopping in Pennymarkt. I also learned a lot of things, about interpreting and about ‘life’ – that sounds so philosophic, though it really isn’t at all. One sad thing I learned is that wih people you meet on holidays it’s always the same: you promise, you swear to keep in touch, but after 3 weeks that’s all forgotten.

Unfortunately after this dreamlike summer came autumn, and with it the beginning of school. My last year of school. The pure HORROR. I have never studied so much in my life, and probably never will again. But, for the record I have to admit that autumn and winter had some bright days too; days spent with friends and laughter (how rare these days were though is underlined by the fact that I made a post about half of them). And of course, how could I forget, I started blogging:D First I just put a few posts on Alex D’s blog and now I have my own little place to express myself which I enjoy a lot, and I really hope you do too.

All in all (excepting the last two months when school nearly caused a mental breakdown of mine) it was a year worth remembering and thinking back to with joy and a touch of nostalgia. Tomorrow I’ll go visit a friend of mine to celebrate the New Year together. It’s gonna be crazy, she already told me she has a guest from Japan who speaks quite bad German, and this guy has a Japanese friend with him who doesn’t speak German at all. Sounds like fun right? Especially since I absolutely adore the language!

Let’s hope that it will be an appropriate end for a happy time and a good beginning for an even better one.幸せ新しい年 (Shiawase atarashī toshi) – Happy new year! Wish you the best for 2012!

=^.^= Koneko.

What caught my eye today: the forest paths I walk with my mom almost everyday. They cosist of soil and gravel covered in leaves and moss and if they are not too muddy, these forest walks are wonderful. The skin feels so unbelievably fresh when you get back into the warm afterwards!

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Merry Christmas, only a few days late!

Don’t let them say you aint beautiful.
Don’t even let them think it. No one. Ever.
But make them look at you and see
That damn right you’re beautiful.
You have to make them think of it.
Your spark. Your smile. Your beauty.

Perfection lies within

Soundtrack and inspiration: Eminem – Beautiful

Chitchat

Saturday was the greatest day in what seems a really long time to me. I ignored all the nagging voices whispering ‘you must…’ and  ‘you really should…’ and did exactly what I wanted to do! I was out all day, first walking through the streets, just talking and catching up with a friend of mine whom I don’t see that often, but every time I do I become a part of myself that keeps in the background most of the time, though it really shouldn’t. Also, we randomly ran into the red winter coat I had been dreaming of the last couple weeks (I am really glad I found it before leaving forGermanyon Friday – can’t wait till Friday, by the way!).

Later in the afternoon I went by my best friend’s to say goodbye, since I am not going to see him again this year (sounds awfully long, but in fact it’s only about 3 weeks till 2012 – man, time passes so fast). The short visit ended up lasting the whole afternoon/evening and though it was nothing special, I can’t think of any better way to spend a dull Saturday afternoon than with laughter and chitchat (meaning gossip, but I don’t like the word, it sounds terrible – g-o-s-s-i-p -.-)…

When I came home, the whole house was full of photo albums (my mother is putting together a slide show for my grandma’s birthday) – the temptation was impossible to resist! It is amazing how many things I can recall with just one glance at a picture. And it’s amazing how long 17 years seem, when looking back. So many things have changed…  I have changed – a lot!!! What made me a bit sad is, that on these pictures everybody seems much happier and more relaxed than nowadays. The grass in our garden looks greener, the sky bluer… the smiles wider and more honest. I also noticed how good my relationship with my little brother used (or at least appears) to be. Lately I am an awful sister – way too often! I pick on him and I don’t really care about whatever he wants to show me with such enthusiasm and I speak in tones way sharper than necessary… I am really sorry for all that!

 

Anyway, this day was exactly what I needed, since lately I hadn’t been feeling all too good. And today, Monday, that feeling is already back. Right before the holidays school appears even more of a torture, especially when your schoolmates and most people around you annoy the crap out of you! Which reminded me of a conclusion I had reached years ago (it’s not really relevant to my hard time at school, it’s more of a general statement): the evil guys definitely have the better cards.

Ha, I can almost see the question marks on your faces :P Let me explain. I always thought that being the bad guy in a movie/book/role play (the last one I know from experience) brings a much bigger chance of winning – if you look at it realistically; most books/movies/role plays are designed to let the good guys win. Though it doesn’t really seem fair to me. Usually the bad guys ARE better, and only because of some lame tricks like love/friendship/light/whatever the good guys manage to get out alive (and save the world).

In real life it wouldn’t be (isn’t) that way. Without the magical power of true love, the hero has nothing that is a true advantage for him. He even has a burden: his conscience! An evil person doesn’t have that and will not hesitate a moment to shoot you (or kill you in some other way) , no matter how long you run away or how purely hearted you plead…

Bad guys do whatever they want to do, whatever they need to do to get where they want and what they want. Good guys have to stick to ethic rules. And that’s why, unfortunately, the bad guys in this world usually win!

I hope you enjoyed the little lesson about good and evil, see you soon.

=^.^= Koneko.

What caught my eye today: the first light of the morning crawling over the bay, which at this hour looked unbelievably calm. Sunsets are so different from sunrises!

A feeling and some words

Now, this is how it works

You peer inside yourself

You take the things you like

And try to love the things you took

And then take the love you made

And stick it into someone else’s heart

These lovely words are not my own (wish they were), but taken from ‘on the radio’ by Regina Spektor. That being said, let’s get to the actual post.      

There’s been this feeling lately. That I’m running out of time. The older I get, the quicker time passes. Months turn into weeks, weeks shrink to days, the clock ticks away; minute after minute, hour after hour, and I don’t even realize they were here… which of course is not so bad when it’s about school. But when it comes to exams that will decide about your future and – more important – the future after those exams, it gets scary. Because I realize that it’s closing time (yeah, I only ssaid that to put the song in there :P) of the first part of my life…

I am lucky enough to know exactly what I want to do after school (I know lots of people who don’t). but seeing how quickly time passes and how quickly the realization of all those plans approaches, makes me hesitate. Am I ready to go off  to Germany? Do I really want to go and spend the next years in a town with, well, an excellent University but nothing else? (I didn’t always think this way, but lately it does matter to me if there is a city life in reach or not). Do I want to leave my beloved room and the garden and the view and my cats so soon? Can I leave all me friends here, will I not lose them?

Of course, I cannot wait for frickin’ school to finally come to an end, to turn 18, be independent, to change things, a lot of things, to study interpreting. But you see, I have just begun to get my life into order. I found people I genuinely want to be my friends, who mean something to me. I gained some confidence (took me long enough) and discovered places I like being. And all this is here, onCrete! Sometimes it is hard to even imagine that this time next year I will be far from all this, without knowing how things will be then. 

No doubt, I will meet new people (with that new confidence I was talking about, yeah right), get used to the place and weather and have a great time, no matter what I fear right now. All I am saying is: there are so many things I want to do while I am here, with my friends, in the places I love.  I just wish that I had more time to do all that…

=^.^= Koneko.

What caught my eye today: we all had to take our identity cards to school today, for some bureaucracy stuff. Since we all made them about 2007 (hell, we’re old!), it was funny to see how immensely we all changed in the last years – mostly to the better I hope!

It all started with a big Bang!

Today I finally figured out why last year I chose the direction of natural studies (which contains physics, chemistry, biology etc), instead of the theoretical one (ancient Greek, Latin, literature analysis). Because you see, even if my grades always showed that the latter is more of my strength, I refused to go theoretical. I might really like literature and be quite good at history (god knows why, I never study). But I truly hate ancient Greek, at least the way it’s taught.  Why, you ask me?

Because philologists tend to assume something is some way, and no different! Take, for example, the tragedy of Antigone, which we studied last year. It was SO annoying to hear ‘And why did Sophocles choose to let Antigone say ‘me and you’ instead of ‘we’? Well, children, this shows a true philosophical brilliance because….” That’s where I used to stop listening.

WHO told you that Sophocles wrote ‘me and you’ for exactly that reason? Did anybody ask him recently? Maybe he just thought it sounded nicer, maybe otherwise it wouldn’t suit his number of syllables in each line, who knows, maybe he really wanted to pass a message by that… My point is, we can’t know! So for God’s sake, why do we put interpretations in his mouth, without knowing if that’s what he meant?!  That was only one example; it’s the same in every ancient Greek or Latin book and even in literature, where, at the same time, you’re being told that there is no right or wrong.

And of course, I am not saying that it should be forbidden to make speculations, to find hidden meanings in the verse. But these things are a personal matter and I don’t believe its right to make whole generations learn three numb remarks by heart in order to get a good grade. It ruins all the magic of the art.

Then, I am still not sure what to think of those billons of grammar rules and exceptions from the billions of grammar rules. I just can’t help but think that somebody is jut making things complicated, in order to give people something to spend their time on when at school, university and even after, when they become teachers. It simply doesn’t sound logical to me, that they would have such a complex grammar system and such a noble way to express themselves back then…

Science is different. 

It doesn’t give me that feeling of illusion and pretending and wannabe. Sure, all the physical laws, even the numbers we use to count everyday: they are all made up, human creations. But nobody ever puts words in the mouth of someone who hasn’t explicitly said them! There are the laws of Newton, Einstein and Bohr, which are the very way those men found them, and even if they are revoked by now, no one ever assumed details about those laws based on plain assumption.

Also, I love seeing things around me and knowing, how they occur, what forces are behind them. It fascinates me to read about cells and how they work and to think: that’s what you are made of – tiny little units that work perfectly. And those tiny units consist of even tinier bits, consisting of yet smaller particles…Andthy all work together, they are connected by unfelt forces and form everything you can and cannot see, even your very body. (Plus i truly enjoy sitting in front of blackboards filled with formulas and calculations and complicated diagrams and actually understandig what it say :P)

Of course, they are so small, they can’t even be seen. We can’t know for sure it’s the way physicists say it is. But there’s no pretending, just theories somebody pronounced that the rest accepted and agreed to believe in. Science leaves no room for ‘in my opinion’ (I have no problem with opinions, but they don’t belong in a school system that gives grades on them).

Of course there will be people who disagree with me on all this. And that’s perfectly fine. I just wanted to express my frustration about the theoretical school subjects, along with the awe that science makes me feel.

And now there is my beloved science waiting for me, in form of exercises that need to be solved and endless biology chapters that scream to be learned to every comma and exclamation mark. Isn’t the Greek education system just wonderful?

=^.^= Koneko.

What caught my eye today: the starriest sky I have ever seen from my garden, on a clear cold winter night. I always forget how magical this tiny gleaming dots on a black surface can be…

night is a very special, mystique face of reality